Father's Day 2012

We are celebrating father's day today without daddy.  Its nothing particularly unusual, and the kids don't really know much about the day.  But I do, and its harder for me for sure.  I love holidays, and photo ops, and tradition and all that silly stuff.  So, I get all sad and sentimental when he misses things like this.  I know what we'll do, we'll make up little cards and the kids will draw or paint on them.  We'll post pone the day and I'll make a special dinner, something he's requested as his favorite.  He got a nice gas bbq last month so that was sort of his present.  His first big boy bbq (lol).  It's funny when buying things like couches and BBQs become the highlight of your life.  My new couch is my current crush.  But this post isn't sad, nor meant to be sad or poor me, boo hoo he's not here.  That's not really anything new, and its one day out of how many Father's Days we've had, or will hopefully have in the future.

Hold onto your hats folks, its about to get mushy.

The hubby and I started dating about a million years ago, and it wasn't very long after we started dating that he was pretty sure I was the girl for him!  Yup, he told me that first and I'm pretty sure he said he loved me first too.  Here we are at 16 and 18.  We were at a dance.   I had on a vintage dress and he had on my grandfather's WWII Army Air Corp Uniform.

That was in 1999.  In 2004 we were married.

Two years later (almost exactly) we were blessed with our son

I was lucky to have him there that day.  He was supposed to be deployed.

Just a little over two years later our daughter was born.

Then this past October we had our second son

Through those years, with babies and birthdays we've been through a lot.  He's been gone so much I think sometimes I feel like we've only been married for half the time that we really have.  Some days I've handled it better than others.  There's been some post partum depression, anxiety, times alone with little ones that where too young to understand where daddy went, and had no concept of time at all.  He's dealt with my crazy and I've handled (or tried to at least) him being gone.  He's calm and chill, when I freak out and jump off the cliff.  He's always firmly clipped to the side of the cliff, holding my ropes so I don't go crashing into the ground.  He's my perfect match.  Even on days when we are just soooooooooo not communicating, which sometimes I think happens a lot with military couples, I know that he'll be there to go visit famous crimes scenes with me (yes, I've done that), or walk with me early in the morning on the beach to find sea shells.  I watch movies and read books (one in particular that I've been reading since before I had Phillip) that are right up his alley.  I make sure to read the news so we can talk about it.  I now eat Avocados, and 98% fat free hot dogs.  I haven't had an American Cheese slice, or Sunny D, since we were married. 

I don't know anyone else that would get excited about Presidential Libraries with me, or would sit and watch Twilight: Breaking Dawn with me (after he went out and got it all by himself - with chocolate cake).  I don't know anyone that would sacrifice so much to bring home the bacon just for me, but still gets to do what he loves.  I don't think he knows anyone that would handle recruitment type hours for almost 10 years!  Whoa!

I don't know anyone that would undo 100 new year's eve poppers and refill them and then give them to as a present, filled with 100 things we were going to do that year (yes he did).  I don't know anyone else that had a picture turned into a painting.  Remember when Center Stage came out (I used to be a dancer)...he took me to that in the theater.  Even better still, he took me to go see All About Eve (a very old b&w movie) with my mom and aunt, in this adorable historic theater one Valentine's Day.  

When I think about all that we've seen and done I'm pretty lucky.  I'm lucky to have such a wonderful husband, who is a pretty darn amazing father to our children.  Even when he's exhausted wrestling around with the kids, or playing ball outside is still a priority.  I know that as our oldest son, gets older, and starts "getting it" more, it will get harder for him to be gone so much.  The questions and sighs of discontent are already starting to pop up more.  But I know that he will always be there, my true perfect match. 

 April 2012